Psychosis?

August 31, 2011

So I had my first appointment today.. “The Shrink”
ah it felt weird, I didn’t know what to make of it, i’m not good at opening up, it’s hard for me it’s like im afraid or shy but im not I just don’t want to feel weak or vulnerable to anyone that’s why I always pretend or fake, im comfortable here because you don’t know who I am and no one really reads what I say so its just for me, a means to vent I suppose..

I don’t know what I’m saying.. I did this for her, even though she’ll probably never talk to me ever again but I promised her that I’d fix myself, that I’d change and I intend to keep that promise whether or not she’ll be there.. I wish she would.

Anyways she kept telling me to stop, the shrink that is, she knew that I was faking and kept telling me over and over again “stop, stop..” What am I doing?

I wish someone would tell me what to do, I don’t know what to do or what to say and how to act anymore, everything is a blur..

Anyways..

I went shopping today I got a pair of sneakers, undies (the expensive kind) love it and socks from express.. I love their socks so comfy oo I also went to bed bath and beyond got a few things then to banana republic.. I saw this amazing trench that she would just ADORE I wish I could buy it for her it’s like a leopard print looks fab and feels amazing too, she loves leopard print.